The Age of the Informed Parent (or, 500 Ways to Mess Up Your Kid Before He Turns Five)

We Gen X moms and dads have more parenting resources at our disposal than any parents in the history of the world.   If we're confused about where and how to put our babies to sleep, we can choose from a dizzying array of books, magazine articles, and websites stressing the dire importance of sleeping with your baby in your bed, NOT sleeping with your baby in your bed, rocking to sleep, nursing your baby to sleep, "crying it out", parent-led scheduling, child-led scheduling, swaddling, and NEVER, ever, letting a baby sleep on her stomach.  We know more about the complexities of breastfeeding, the dangers of BPA, and the intricacies of choosing the "right" preschools than our parents ever did.  So really, we should have this parenting thing all figured out, right?

Heavens, no.  We're more clueless, and anxious, than ever.  

As a self-proclaimed parenting book addict, I'll fully admit that all of the information overload has two main effects:

First, the guilt factor.  Now, I'm very aware that TV is not good for little people.  Numerous studies connect excessive childhood television viewing to increased rates of ADD, autism, learning disabilities, obesity, and just plain laziness.  I've done the reading and I believe all this, I really do.  I've never even owned a Baby Einstein DVD.  But here's the thing:  sometimes, a mama just needs a few minutes to make dinner, or sneak in a shower, or take an important phone call without her little boys smacking each other with toy golf clubs or "decorating" the walls with bright red tempera paint.  So yeah, my guys watch a little TV just about every day.  But really, as I'm turning on the tube for them, I often just wish I didn't know all that junk about how bad TV is;  I'm just trying to survive another day.  

Next, I think modern parents are often nearly paralyzed by all the scare tactics and endless options.  At a playdate this morning, we moms stood around the kitchen watching our toddlers romp in the adjoining room.  The topic of conversation revolved around how to best sweeten our foods without causing our children irreparable harm.  High fructose corn syrup?  Unthinkable.  Refined sugar?  Of course not.   Organic cane sugar, agave nectar, honey, blackstrap molasses?  Maybe, although one mother had recently read that agave nectar, sweetener of choice for many a health-conscious mommy, caused a whole host of problems.  What's an over-informed parent to do?  Eventually, we all just faded into a hopeless silence and munched our muffins.  

With all of the parenting possibilities out there, it's often too easy to forget that there's very rarely one "right" answer for every child, or every parent.  Even a quick assessment of my own two boys make that concept undeniably clear.  Instead of the endless array of books and magazines, I could often just use a good dose of grace for myself, a reminder that I'm doing the best I can for my little guys, and ultimately, that must be enough.  Yes.

There's gotta be a book out there to back that up, right?